In the 1990′s Anthony Robbins, one of the world’s most successful coach and motivational speaker, recognized that we are all driven by the same 6 core needs:
1) Certainty – comfort, safety, order, control, security
2) Variety – adventure, uncertainty
3) Significance – individuality, importance, ego
4) Connection – communication, approval, love
5) Growth – learning, personal development
6) Contribution – service, care
How we satisfy each of these needs determines our level of happiness. If we satisfy them in ways that are not supportive to us – in both the short term AND the long term, we become unhappy.
An example of satisfying our needs in an unsupportive way is emotional eating. Emotional eating is the most common reason why a person is overweight.
Although your comfort eating may satisfy some of the 6 core needs for you instantaneously, it gives you pain in the long run.
Food may satisfy your short term needs by giving you: the feeling of safety; comfort; control; an instant rush from the sugar; variety from our life; safety from our negative thoughts and emotions.
However the problem is later on when the high of the sugar rush wears off and you are faced with the same old problems. On top of that, you are faced with more of the same – or even worse, unwanted results… excess fat and feelings of disappointment, regret, frustration or a lack of control.
Through understanding how you are currently meeting your 6 core needs, you can understand why you do what you do (ie emotionally eat) and why you don’t do what you know we should be doing (ie eating healthy food to fuel and care for your body).
You can then plan how you could satisfy each need in an alternative, more supportive way.
For example, instead of reaching for food for comfort, try an alternative routine that supports and nurtures you. Some alternative choices are: calling a friend, having a hot bath, doing some exercise, snuggling up on the couch, having a cuddle, reading a good book, knitting.
What other ideas do you have to replace your core need for comfort other than food?
I’d love to hear so I can assist you even more!
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